As a teenage girl and obvious feminist, internalized
misogyny is a very straightforward issue that is clearly damaging for all
involved. So seeing an article titled “Getting Over Girl Hate” with the premise
of advocating love for other girls and fighting female competition, I was
pretty stoked (even though the article is from 2011). However, like with most even remotely mainstream publications
trying to cover issues I care about, I was massively disappointed.
Aside from the article being written like it’s just
about petty high school drama, the serious problem for me in the article was
where she said: “Look: confidence is
not a crime. It does not mean a girl is a bitch or a slut, or thinks she’s
better than you. It just means that she
likes herself. And personally, I don’t
wanna live in a world where any girl with healthy self-esteem is labeled a
whore.”
Does she not see the obvious,
glaring problem with that sentence? Did she really not realize that she just
participated in “girl hate” by using gendered, misogynistic slurs? By separating
“sluts” and “whores” from “girls,” she’s participating in slut shaming, female
competition and disrespect towards other women. She’s saying that “sluts” and “whores”
don’t deserve respect like “other girls” do. This majorly disappointed and
frustrated me.
There’s a real name for “girl hate,” Rookie. It’s called internalized misogyny, and you just participated in it.
There’s a real name for “girl hate,” Rookie. It’s called internalized misogyny, and you just participated in it.
If the writer had
followed the statement with something like “The word “slut” is a patriarchal
construction to shame women for their own sexuality, and to insure they are
harassed for being remotely sexually independent” or even an immature but
well-intended statement like “There’s nothing wrong with being a slut” I would
have been okay with it. But she didn’t. Because she isn’t actually promoting “girl
love” here. This is not solidarity, this is not empowerment, it’s even more “girl
hate” covered up by the pretense of “feminism” and caring about other women.
So please, stop trying
to co-opt feminism for your own crappy, slut-shamey, misogynistic beliefs. Just
know that the real fighters, including myself, will always side with the
“sluts,” the “whores,” with the ladies that you don’t consider part of your
feminism or worthy of respect. Because we are worthy. We are all sisters. So if
you’re going to pretend like you believe in it, either start acting like it or
just drop the act. When you decide to actually walk the walk, I'll be ready to hear about it, but until then, keep your fake support.
In solidarity,
Brit-El
